Friday, March 30, 2012

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. 
Usually she slept through the class. 

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" 

When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. 

A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep. 

Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" 

The Teacher fainted. 
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An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 
85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. 
The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained. 
"Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing." 
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" 
The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."
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Sunday, March 11, 2012

American Is Held After Shooting of Civilians in Afghanistan

afghanistanafghanistan (Photo credit: The U.S. Army)PANJWAY, Afghanistan - An United States service member walked out of a military base in a rural district of southern Afghanistan on Sunday and opened fire on three nearby houses, killing at least 15 civilians, local villagers and provincial officials ...
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